Narcissism Terms

A description of persistent attention-seeking and desire for validation or admiration. These behaviours alone do not establish a clinical diagnosis.

Baiting describes behaviour intended to provoke an emotional reaction, such as an argument, and then use that reaction within a conflict.

Charm can create a favourable first impression and build trust. Being charming by itself is not a sign of a personality disorder.

Discard is a term often used in discussions of harmful relationship dynamics to describe a sudden withdrawal or ending of the relationship.

Emotional manipulation describes attempts to influence someone through guilt, fear, confusion or similar pressure rather than honest communication.

Flying monkeys is an informal term for third parties recruited or influenced to take sides, spread messages or apply pressure during interpersonal conflict.

Gaslighting refers to a pattern of manipulation that undermines someone’s confidence in their recollection, perceptions or judgement.

Hoovering is an informal term for attempts to re-establish contact or draw someone back into a relationship after a separation.

Idealisation is the process of viewing or presenting another person in an unusually perfect or highly positive light.

Jealousy involves fear or distress about losing a valued relationship or position. Its presence alone does not identify a particular personality style.

Karmic relationship is a popular, non-clinical expression for an intense relationship perceived as repeating important lessons or patterns.

Love bombing commonly refers to an intense display of attention, gifts or affection that may be used to accelerate closeness or influence another person.

A malignant narcissist is a person who displays severe narcissistic traits combined with hostility, manipulation, aggression, lack of empathy and a willingness to exploit or harm others to maintain power and control.

Narcissism exists on a spectrum. Most people display some narcissistic characteristics occasionally, such as wanting recognition or protecting their ego. The term should not automatically be treated as synonymous with abuse or narcissistic personality disorder.

Object Constancy is the ability to maintain a stable emotional connection to someone even when you are angry, disappointed or temporarily separated from them. In narcissistic dynamics, difficulties with object constancy may contribute to sudden shifts between idealising someone and seeing them as entirely bad when conflict or rejection occurs.

Parentification occurs when a child is placed in a role where they take on emotional or practical responsibilities that should belong to the parent. In narcissistic family dynamics, the child may become a confidant, caretaker, mediator or emotional support system, often at the expense of their own needs and childhood.

Reactive abuse is a widely used but potentially misleading term describing an intense reaction after prolonged provocation, manipulation or abuse. The reaction may then be presented without context as evidence that the reacting person is the problem. The term does not excuse harmful behaviour, but it can help explain how repeated provocation affects responses.

Scapegoating occurs when one person is repeatedly blamed for wider problems within a family, relationship or group. The scapegoat can become responsible for conflicts and failures that have much more complicated causes.

Trauma bond is a term commonly used for an intense emotional attachment that develops within a relationship containing cycles of harm and reconciliation. Intermittent reinforcement, fear and periods of affection can make leaving psychologically complicated.

“Unmasked” describes the point when a narcissistic person’s carefully maintained public image begins to fall away, revealing behaviours, attitudes or patterns that may previously have been hidden from others.

Victim mentality describes a persistent tendency to view oneself as the victim across many situations while minimising one’s own responsibility. Genuine victimisation should not be confused with this concept; people can genuinely experience abuse and deserve support.

Word salad is an informal term sometimes used to describe confusing, circular or contradictory communication that leaves the listener unable to establish what is actually being discussed. The expression has other clinical meanings, so it should be used cautiously in relationship discussions.

Zero accountability is an informal phrase describing a pattern in which someone appears unwilling to accept responsibility under almost any circumstances. Every mistake is explained, justified, denied or attributed to another person.